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I find it hard to be beautiful but I feel beautiful to be me ✨R.T

It is a good example how the word beautiful has so many connotations, definitions, expectations separations and judgements which all are learnt from somewhere someone as it was always someone else somewhere unreachable heights.

Who does this insanity belong to?

Your parents? In my case, yes. Everyone tall, skinny, tanned etc was beautiful that wasn’t me. I was “maybe above average” was the greatest compliment they ever did. The word beautiful was used for other people, outfits etc, not for a person in this household. My cousin was the first that ever told me that when I was 12, and I was confused, it didn’t sound right. It is all ok, just it might be the reason these days I am not good at receiving these.

Again, this receiving …

I do not even have questions around it…

What would it take to change that?

Healy analyses comes up with scary deep, some intimate and hidden things in times, like receiving compliments in this one. (The photo below, the cut off word at the end is communication in case you’re wondering). I wasn’t aware I had it in my world, but it was just before the fashion show I am volunteering for, so it made sense.

Some fun, memorable, surprising or believable compliments:

‘Reena if you were a Euro song, I would give you 12 points! That was actually for a good idea, not for the looks, therefore believable.

At a party a long time ago: ‘You must have beautiful parents!’… 🤔

One of the gay friends: ‘If I was into women, I would marry you on the spot.’

Last year, that one came from a woman that made it special:

‘This thick sexy accent, she does not even have to do anything...

I was hoping it’s not that thick… but she made me believe it is not a bad thing:) my teacher thought me American English that‘s not helping here at All as you can imagine.

Do you Receive compliments? I mean truly receive, not the yayaya… Can you?

Although, it depends on the sincerity it is given with…or what if you could take it all, anyway?

What would it take you to be able to actually receive this kindness? What would it be like to let it in?

What do you find is beautiful? What is it for you? It changes as you grow …you see so much more of it. How can it get better?

And…it is only a one word…so much… around it.

In a ‘perfect world’ it would be like: someone: ‘You are beautiful

You: ‘I know! Thank you! I know you know’ 😊