Photo: Somehow, I felt it would cheer you up. I got my photo albums from overseas, and that’s from there. It’s an European August evening before my first ever trip to a foreign country, all by myself to the USA.
I started at 21 and was a social smoker until 27 years old, and even though I am pretty sure everyone already thought I was going to be a smoker, I always said, No, I am not. I just do that for now. I liked the action but couldn’t stand the look of the skin the next day. And my mum always said (despite being a lifelong smoker herself), it’s not pretty on ladies. 🙂
Addiction, Hypocrisy, and the Fear of Not Being Loved: A Book-Based Exploration
A book reading—there’s not a chapter dedicated to the topic, but here are fragments from the books of 1-7. However, reading all books makes you understand the big picture. I will explain one of the sections at the end to expand on what was said.
It’s for you to get an understanding of a loved one or a friend or maybe yourself. To understand the root cause of it. Like most things, we’ll get from our parents, and especially this one. You have a choice if you’re going to blame them or forgive them. There are no perfect parents; they are people like everyone else. They didn’t have a handbook on how to raise you. There is a post about it:Good Parents are Bad Parents…
Besides, you are a big boy or girl now; you can and have the freedom to choose whatever you choose to have or do in your life.
Forgiving is the biggest giving there is. Forgive yourself and then for others.
One of the underlying ideas was that children who have had enough of their parents’ hypocrisy about ‘perfect life’ they’re living, or prising or who are pushing their children and will not let them figure out their own life purpose are wanting to escape from it, to experience something ‘real’ that is drugs for them.
Read it, and let it help you to understand and acknowledge, and that’s already your healing. It might bring up guilt and shame and blame, and that’s alright too. Nothing is wrong; feel it and release it, and/or find what will help you to do it.
Now that you know, you can move forward and ask, what is possible beyond what I am experiencing? Ask many times! Million times! Allow yourself not to know while asking it, or if you believe in the universe or a God direct it to them.
‘There is physical suicide and spiritual suicide, which is drug addiction.
Drug addiction — it is the hope of escaping all suffering.
Addicts know their guilt.
Drugs help a person get from the land of worries to the land of wonders the fastest and with the least effort.
To a person under the influence of drugs, accusations are like water off a duck’s back — they don’t stick or sink in.
Drug addicts don’t feel guilty — they know they are guilty. That’s why they do everything they can to get drugs and stay away from the world of accusers.
The addict’s mercilessness toward themselves grows from the awareness that they have made others unhappy.
Drug addiction is an indicator of humanity’s crisis of being human.
Very often people come asking how to help a drug addict.
Those who help themselves understand that addiction must not be fought.
While fighting any negative phenomenon tends to amplify it, fighting an individual’s addiction specifically means accelerating that person’s death.
In fact, the addict who dies the fastest is the one whose ‘supporters’ try to prove their love in front of others by harshly seeking someone to blame and punish.
Know this: if you truly want to help a drug addict, then you must not utter a single word of blame—toward anyone or anything—in their presence.
Any evaluation—be it praise, criticism, or belittlement—is taken personally by a drug addict, because they are themselves victims of blame.
A drug addict who overcomes their problem before destroying their brain often becomes either a drug dealer or a public figure fighting against addiction, such as a police officer.
Drug addicts simply want to escape their feelings of guilt and the accusers who cause those feelings.
Most parents still don’t realize that they are the cause of their child’s addiction.
Unfortunately, even the science of psychology does not yet fully understand the root cause of addiction.
If a drug addict is a person in depression, then the drug dealer is certainly in apathy.
The more zealously drug dealers are accused and hunted with the intent to destroy them, the less they are actually caught—because shaming them extinguishes even the last remnants of guilt they may feel.
Children of parents who proudly boast about the wealth they’ve earned through hard work and self-sacrifice often feel too proud to ask their parents for grace or forgiveness—because the workaholic parents have earned their fortune at the price of self-denial, making their achievements seem more valuable than they really are.
Workaholic parents take time for work at the expense of family and children, which causes deep hurt in the children and often turns them into the opposite of their parents.
Dutiful work can be like a drug—it numbs feelings just as effectively as narcotics.
The unwillingness to be who I am, and the desire to escape to a land of no worries, is what leads a person to drugs or workoholism.
A person who’s, suffering under false kindness from hyprocacy as their only life goal, has reached a state of spiritual hopelessness, may become addicted after just a single use of a drug.
When a person’s fear that they are not loved grows into disappointment with everyone and everything, and the feeling that they are not needed, or that their love is not needed, then addiction arises. A panicked fear of death drives them to drugs. The only thing that allows such a person to feel human again is drugs.
The person under the influence of drugs loses their sense of reasoning, and naturally, the fear of not being loved, which traps all other stresses. The drug-induced release of both negative and positive emotions from the prison of fear creates that blissful feeling of liberation, which sparks an irresistible desire to take drugs again and again.
Addicts know exactly what the feeling of spiritual imprisonment and freedom is like. No physical imprisonment pain can compare to the soul pain of an addict who has once tasted spiritual freedom. Only addicts truly understand each other. No physical pain of the body compares to the soul pain of those suffering from the lack of drugs. That’s why an addict will give their needle to another, even if it means dying of AIDS afterwards. Addiction is an escape from reality, to where both good and bad exist. Addiction is worse than alcoholism and any other drug dependency, simply because the amount of stress faced by addicts is greater.
But the worst part is that for an addict, tomorrow no longer exists, and they do not understand that they are destroying the very essence of life – the movement towards the future.
Humanity doesn’t fully know, but senses the special danger of addiction, which is why the fight against it is intense. Unfortunately, the battle against the problem only amplifies it, and the destructive grip of addiction expands. People need to be taught how to free themselves from their problems, and then the root cause of addiction will disappear. Where the light of love fades, there the darkness of addiction comes.
A little bit of drugs frees the imprisoned mind. History knows how creative individuals have created masterpieces under the influence of drugs, but in the name of such self-expression, they have ultimately sacrificed themselves to drugs.
THE USE OF DRUGS DESTROYS SPIRIT.
An addict needs physical suffering, as it makes the soul pain less felt.
There is a subtype of addiction, and that is work addiction.
The rapid burnout of creative individuals is work addiction, which also attracts real drugs, whose intoxicants fade away and cease to exist.
WORK ADDICTION DESTROYS SPIRIT.
There are various forms of addictive states, or addiction.
On today’s spiritual level, there is a dangerous yet beautiful thing called medium addiction. Using drugs to induce a flood of spiritual wisdom causes a stagnation in spiritual development, continuing until the flood is ‘digested.’
But since the addict doesn’t learn, they drown their pain, and such a sense of spiritual stagnation is the most terrible pain, constantly increasing this pain. Addicts feel this and know no other way than to destroy their mind, soul, and body.
Such a person is often a workaholic, a crammer, a sports fanatic, or simply an overly active member of society.
This kind of person is at risk of becoming an addict. It takes just one drug injection to ease the pain of some seemingly accidental trauma, and they feel incredibly good.’
The insights have been retrieved from the seven volumes of A Teaching of Survival by L. Viilma (Viilma, n.d.).
Comments: What that last section tells us is that these people have enormous amounts of potential that can’t find a way out into the world; they do not know how to handle this flow of creativity or energy or perhaps something that hasn’t been in this world before. That’s where we revisit or reignite underutilised societies. Perhaps it’s time to be smarter and not to numb ourselves with legal or illegal drugs but to find the way to utilise that enormous beautiful potential!
Example from life. Common diagnoses in early childhood these days; primary school children have been medicated to numb their ‘overactive’ minds. I am not talking about severe cases, obviously. In the States I have friends; in the second grade a little, totally normal boy was put on medications for an overactive mind (since it’s a prestigious school you do what they say); the next thing he is a teenager who will be on antidepressants because he is numb and can’t feel anything or is too emotional; in the worst-case scenario, next he will turn to illegal drugs to feel Anything.
If you read my depression post, you could tell that I was miserable where I was and created illnesses for my body (that is just another form of self-destruction, assuming you’re aware that you create your health conditions) to get out of here, and it was very much because I absolutely didn’t have the avenues or strength or health to express myself. If there aren’t avenues…create your own. Now it is that kind of time again. It’s not the time to follow; you will find out every step by getting connected to yourself, from the coherence of a heart and brain.
The writer brings all in life down to fear of not being loved, and if you’re a parent, your child needs you firstly, not all the fanciest toys, or other material goods or fake people. Children need realness, honesty love!
If you’ve been told you’re too intense or too sensitive or too much, it’s not wrong! Forget about others’ judgements or labels; find the way to make it work for you. It might take time, but it’s worth it to be you and operate in this world on a full gear as you!
If you are addicted, then make peace with your parents, who painted a perfect picture of your family life while you were growing up knowing that was far from the truth in the real world, and you were so aware of it, and had to buy into lies they were telling you and the rest of the world.
Find real people and connections because the fake is what you’re escaping from by using drugs.
PLEASE DO NOT EVER SAY I am that…; say I have that (whatever the diagnosis) Do not make it you!
With love,
R