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BeingDifferent PerspectiveLifestylePersonal Development

How Struggles Led Me to a Healthier, Happier Life

alternative life style

Photo: Prosecutor’s Office, where I was working for about 4 years, in the drugs and homicide department. In the photo, we are with a sweet colleague we shared an office with, I was probably the youngest there at the time. PS prosecutors are interesting and fun people, I bet you wouldn’t think that.

Why did I start choosing something different?

From an early age, I had an innate sense of awareness, partly thanks to my parents, or rather their absence (non-presence), and the book ‘A Book of Survival’ I immersed myself in. However, I lost myself in the sea of life and “normality” once I moved out of my home and ventured to the uni in the capital city.

Growing up in an emotionally healthy family gives you a significant advantage in life. It provides a solid foundation for all aspects of life. Unfortunately, most of us haven’t had that luxury. Instead, we have to build our own in everything from scratch. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing—check out my post on good parents are bad parents for more on this Good Parents are Bad Parents. While I’m not particularly interested in dwelling on the past, childhood wounds undeniably influence every area of our lives, including how we love, receive love, money, and our career.

The reason I emphasize finding your own path is because I followed the “correct” route: I went to university and then another one, but it didn’t pay off as expected apart from academic writing and research skills that became valuable. Although you should remember this, education is something that’s there; you can’t lose it, and it’s never useless.

I have had comfortable office jobs since I was 21 years old. Reflecting on those years, I realised that most workplaces involved unpleasant politics and bullying. One particularly awful experience was overseas at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. For me, the organisation represented a window to the world and a chance to be part of an international organisation, which I loved. I also planned to attend Diplomat’s School while working there. I thought I had it all figured out. It was a ‘perfect plan’ that, let’s be honest, would’ve left very little room for the imagination and creation that I actually am.

Despite it being my dream job, which I had pursued for a couple of years and eventually secured, I left after four months. Although I worked with some of the best people in my department – NATO & International Relations, there was one colleague on my level who made sure I suffered. You know when you start a new job and the information you require for doing it has been held from you. I learned later that she was from my high school and held a grudge due to simple, petty envy and revenge. Ironically, I barely knew her beyond recognising her face—she had been a classmate of my boyfriend back at the time. True mean girls story here. The HR Manager I told about it didn’t believe it, and when I had already given my resignation, she told me that she got an email by mistake from the mean girls that was about herself…She sure believed me now! I should’ve spoken about it to other people, but I didn’t. Despite working in this department only for a little while, I had the warmest farewell I’ve ever had.

It’s just one example. Gosh I had forgotten the brutal meanness of people… No generalisation, though I had a great experience in real estate overseas and have had really good ones in the car, pearling/jewellery, NT Gov, and education sectors in Australia.

You can always Push it through like we have been trained to do, but if it’s not you, you’ll get sick. Keep yourself at the job and push against day after day, and fight and forget who you are by doing it all. I witnessed it happening to someone close to me, and I didn’t want to become completely cold and calculated like she did. If your body is sick, it’s your alarm, it’s your sign, and it’s your indication that something else is possible! It wants you to get out of the situation or change your point of view on it. Ask 10 times a day: What else is possible here that I haven’t considered?

By the age of 27, I had developed two, actually three, supposedly chronic illnesses that disappeared during a two-year backpacking trip to Australia, read more about them here: Hey Body Buddy! Later, medical science diagnosed me with something deadly that turned out to be a misinterpretation. This one truly guided me to get access to my own truth. World Suicide Prevention Day

Food: The so-called normal food just made my stomach ache; there had to be something else possible. In 2003, I found a private doctor who conducted blood tests to check for intolerances. At the time, he was often ridiculed, with many doctors considering it a fringe practice. And Voila, 21 years later…it’s actually acknowledged.

I went lactose, gluten, and sugar-free. There were no alternative foods; I had to invent everything. More about food and feeding here: https://cakeemakee.com or Vegetarianism  or Different Foods feed Different Emotions

Relationships: My parents had great love but big fights as well. I didn’t know ‘how’ but I knew that there would be no fights in my relationships.

These experiences led me to desperation first because of not knowing the ‘how’ and then to find ‘alternative’ ways of doing everything, from my career to my personal life, creating a path that was truly my own.

On the other hand, all these painful experiences in my 20s and 30s brought me here, to this part of the world, to meet these people,✨✨✨ to give me space to turn inwards in order to put outwards, and to learn to smile again.

I’m not saying quit your job, just pay attention, to everything and everyone in your life, with awareness and without judgement.

What if your body is trying to tell you that you are here for something else?

Even if you do not know how… go anyway, start anyway, love anyway! 💚 RT

 

If you have any kind of health condition, seek help and take it. We have awesome diagnostics these days, and do your own research! Do what you know you can for now; this could be taking a doctor’s advice. Learn what your body requires—food, movement, care, and environment. One of the common things that I found in researching all of my own health conditions was a lack of sunshine although it was scientifically found, that’s something that the doctor is not going to mention to you. Think of your life and see what’s the reason you got it. What kind of stress did you have? Something has crossed your boundaries. Your body is reflecting some kind of truth that you’ve been ignoring. Do not make it significant; it’s just here to propel you forward to make you understand something about yourself and/or the world in which we’re living. Turn it around for yourself; it’s going to be beautiful! 💚

 

Interview for Brainz Magazine.