Photos: Cosomo Kiss, the Cat.
Different bits of it will talk to different people.
A book reading: Fragments from (Viilma, Teachings on Survival, Parts 1–7).
Depression is suppressed into apathy by dogmatic, indisputable knowledge — that is, egoistic wisdom — which intimidates, convinces, suggests, manipulates, and creates a sense of hopelessness.
The subtle and profound consequences of both big and small wars. Depression (or heightened sensitivity) is the result of endlessly shifting between meaningless struggles and hollow victories.
A child who has to live in an environment where well-meaning parents try to force each other to change ends up either in depression or apathy.
Depression, or hypersensitivity, triggers family conflicts, illnesses, and wars.
Depression is the result of being trapped by dogmas—fears suppressed and masked as absolute knowledge—and of spiritual stagnation. A person in depression is highly sensitive; they can sense falsehood and begin to question the dogma. But questioning is often ‘harshly punished’.
A lack of serotonin is observed in many illnesses—certainly in depression—which is why depression is often treated by supplementing serotonin. But at some point, the person has squeezed out the very last of themselves, which means they’ve ended up in a shame-filled pit of guilt we call depression. Doctors believe the cause of their depression is a lack of serotonin, when in fact the real cause is pride that has broken into shame.
So: a ‘sinful’ (unworthy) person who tries to redeem themselves through actions and suffering in order to be worthy will, sooner or later, end up in depression and with a disrupted metabolism.
When someone is in depression, their egoism doesn’t realize that it sees its own suffering as greater than it actually is—causing their family members to suffer many times more as a result.
In this world the depression seems inevitable for someone who still wants to remain human—because the only other option Seems to become an egoist.
Unfortunately, in a welfare society, both the rich and the poor, the young and the old, the healthy and the sick suffer from the same kind of depression, because everyone has unfulfilled desires to the same extent.
All our emotional and spiritual struggles stem from the unfulfilled desires of the “overly wise,” regardless of whether the depressed person is wise themselves or not.
When a person becomes aware of their weaknesses and feels their inevitability, that’s when depression sets in.
To prevent falling into depression due to a sudden blow in life, it’s important to observe oneself and loved ones—because one’s lifestyle and habits are the best tools for early detection.
The more someone needs to “lift their mood” or overindulge in pleasure, the deeper their depression tends to be.
The tools used to elevate mood or fight depression are simultaneously tools for diagnosing it.
Depression may be suppressed or “defeated” for a time by pills—but it may not resurface until a life-threatening physical illness develops.
Young people with depression know that parties are attended only for the purpose of letting go. Depression only deepens from such parties.
The talk that alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs ruin health goes in one ear and out the other for a person with depression.
The more and the stronger the tea or coffee that is consumed, the more the person is fighting against depression.
A person with depression likes to eat animal protein. To be Strong, but it’s just the facade.
When the lack of carbohydrates in the diet—which also resulted in weight loss—starts to affect the central nervous system, the depression suddenly worsens;
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- At first it makes the person feel better because alongside the tower of guilt in their soul, a second tower of guilt is artificially built through eating protein, so the two towers are in relative balance and create a temporarily deceptive sense of well-being;
- it also brings a confidence because the person dares to start mocking, criticizing, judging, blaming, belittling, and shaming others.
A person with depression should limit protein in their diet during treatment and replace it with plant-based alternatives.
Shame over one’s helplessness leads to drinking, in an attempt to drown their depression, whose inevitable part is a crushing sadness. Depression only gains momentum from this and demands increasingly more means to silence itself.
Medicine has found that a large number of medications can cause depression.
A person who hasn’t understood the cause of their depression may fall into complete apathy out of sheer shock.
The greater a person’s deepest guilt—their “sin”—the worse they perceive themselves to be, the deeper their depression, and the more merciless their apathy.
The more firmly we believe, and the more convinced we are, that a cheerful mind, good mood, physical strength, quality food, material well-being, and everything invented in the name of human health and happiness—including chemicals—can make a person healthy and happy or help them become so, the deeper into depression we may eventually fall.
When we are forced to admit that climbing earthly mountains does not help us overcome spiritual ones, we have become well aware, and healing can begin.
Very dark topic but also enlightening. That brings us back to the last posts how easy it is to avoid, neglect ourselves even and especially if there are rewarding outcomes.
Moral of the story stays the same as through the website inside job, because you create inside out, and when you’re connected the so to say success or failure arrives you will not get carried away. You are good in you there is an anchor, there is untouchable within that no wave can carry away.
My mid 20s was very hard time, I was depressed, for me it expressed in a lots of crying, I took a cry breaks during the work days, and I had no reason to be sad…other than (I didn’t realise it at the time) it didn’t feel like my place or my people or my country or my music…etc.
What did I do? (I should’ve moved already then but I had no realisation).
Ps if you are depressed it’s the point where you’re not going to say I do not like doing it. You’re going to do the things that help you mechanically every day, maybe not knowing but in a mere hope in the heart the change is going to come, and being grateful for yourself for doing what you can for now.
Stopped alcohol
Started antidepressants, luckily the weakest ones out there. (I have no clue if these did anything, but that was a kind of acknowledgement, yes, I need to start doing something about it).
Started to exercise 3 times more despite docs telling not to exercise (more of that some other time)
Started feeding my body
Started going out alone, I had moved back to my home town to my childhood house where I was living alone, to get well and work. I went out without any alcohol or any other soul numbing agents (I have never tried any drugs, not for me, obviously music and other things do that for me. If you have appetite for these then know it destroys your energy body every time), but just for the music for the dancing in the local night club, danced like owned the world it was my happy, dreaming of a health and different kind of life. I’ve never been anywhere else where Pop & Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit and Prodigy Firestarter (or maybe some other song of theirs) played in the same track. Have you? Pure delight! Hm some very good DJ-s there after all. So I did dance myself out of it.
I moved on from friends who turned my diagnosis into gossip.
Health became ultimate priority, and everything else secondary, and many good things started to emerge into my life, and clarity and changes also. Most likely changes that were overdue that my illnesses made possible/apparent to explore. Becoming understanding that life can no longer continue the same way, and not knowing what is that other way.
Finished up my job at the real estate, packed my bags and went to Australia backpacking. Got off the pills with less than 2 years of living there, and out of other 2 diagnosis that docs couldn’t believe was possible recover from. Some more on these here: Hey Body Buddy Where Are You Taking Me?
Healing is lonely, and that’s alright, it’s the time you are there for you, that you have been ignoring for so long. Nothing is wrong, it’s your journey! If you are there now, make the choice, true choice to get well. Listen to yourself this time, you know what you need to get well! If you looking for clarity, I can guide you there.
You have everything in you; you just need to access it!
How? It arises from a quiet.
A fun exercise if you like: All Life Comes To Me With Ease & Joy & Glory
Also that: Underutilised Societies
And eventually, how this post of depression came to be, it’s someone’s healing time that inspired this, and maybe it contributes to you too in some ways.
It’s been an interesting year the least to say.
How’s your not in a million years list going?
Mine keeps going and I welcome that with 2 arms open, despite of one that has been uncomfortable the least to say, life changing truly after so many years but I asked for changes, and I am here for it. Send me your kind thoughts on that one.
In the recent post I mentioned self-avoidance. What is that? Over working, over exercising over eating, over giving over thinking leads to burnout or depression. It all feels fun until it doesn’t. Balance with getting some space in you as even positive emotions can be just as overwhelming; you need you to be with you for a bit. Take time to celebrate to be grateful to be quiet and happy for no reason. Just the other day Chris from Coldplay posted on Facebook how to get through depression, look at that video and take notes. He does A Lot! Noting happens without input.
Everything isn’t working for everyone and never will keep testing until you find what works for you! Although sometimes you might keep on going without seeing evidence for a while but something in you knows. It’s worth exploring! How often you feel good inside of you? Or enjoy your blissful headspace? It’s possible, and it’s not another thing to push or force it can emerge from relaxation. About healing journey for another interesting health condition: Intelligent Way Out.
In this reality we can get things easily wrong because it’s a judgemental environment but in a long run in our selves nothing is ever wrong.
It is relevant to get into you where you are you, where you know what’s true for you, because the next morning you might discover that there’s no one left…
That reminds me of a lady who does Greatness readings. More info here: Greatness. If you want to hear about the greatness in you, it will lift your spirit, and provides clarity. You feel you’re not so alone with your dreams and/or thoughts. You simply get confirmation that no one else but you can give to you, but it’s empowering to hear someone verbalising it all.
Cate is a 70-year-old cheeky, happy, and witty lady. It’s usually a one-to-two-hour session. After and before that session is good; you have a relaxation method and receive Let it all in, swim in it. Could be Access Bars. More about it: Now that Gwyneth Paltrow has Mentioned it & Access Bars Energetic Body Process.
These 2 things that I made true choices about last year in her session are complete now. The things I had worked for a decade that seemed impossible, etc. Read about true choice here: Choice.
If you’re curious to experience a session with Cate — who’s helped me make some of the most grounded and life-changing choices — you can reach her directly at Cate Williams, 0422 232 406.